July 24, 2007

  •  A new twist on things...

    So I'd pretty much decided on moving in with my mom so that I could get out of debt and still tithe as well as help out my mom financially, and I called the man that owns the basement apartment to tell him that I couldn't afford it.

     well, when he found out I'd lost my nanny job he asked how I'd feel about babysitting for his kids a couple of days a week in exhange for rent. Now if it was full time baby sitting or even part time every day I'd say no because it'd be too much with my radio station job, but since it'd only be for 5 hours 2 or 3 days a week, I'm considering it. That being said, he still has to talk things over with his wife because he hadn't even run the idea by her yet, so who knows, she might say no..but if she says yes, basically I have to decide to tell them yes or no.

    In the end I'd actually be saving $200.00 more a month then I'd save even living with my mom, so I'd save more money if I lived in the basement apartment/did the nanny thing, but I'd also have less free time and plus part of me still really wants to help my mom out because she's having a really hard time financially right now since she and my dad got divorced.

    She doesn't have enough money to get health insurance and she has several health problems she has to take medication reguarally for...and basically if I moved in with her the $200 she would charge me each month would go to her health insurance. That being said, I DO NOT want to live with my mom forever, it'd be two years at the longest..so I don't want her to rely on my rent for health insurance and then be stuck when I move out in a couple of years...and yet I know right now she could really use my help. It's a tough decision...

    Any advice?

Comments (4)

  • Gosh, hard decision....I don't know if I have any advise. I don't really understand completely how insurance works....I wish your mother could get a job with some place that has insurance or something.  All I can advise is to pray. Sorry chica!

  • First off, you don't have a decision to make yet. You haven't even heard back from the guy as to whether the swap will work. Also, make sure you are valuating your time. You should be making at least $13.00-$15.00 per hour for that area with 2 children and your experience. Also, make sure he does the babysitting hours MONTHLY and not weekly... because there are months with 5 weeks in them. If you work 10 hours per week, that equals out to be 40 hours per month. 40 hours per month (a 4 week month) at $13 per hour equals $520.00 per month in rent. I wouldn't worry about your free time too much... doesn't sound like it would really affect it a whole lot.

    All that being said: I understand your desire to help your mom and there's nothing wrong with choosing to live with her. But I also know how much you want to stay on your own. There are places that can help your mother with her prescriptions since she cannot afford health insurance. She also needs to take resposonsibility for her own life and look for a job that can help her with those things. Parents are never meant to turn into our children.

  • I'd agree with Lauren too. It's a tough decision. I'd say it's ok to help out your Mom if it turns out that this would be the best decision, but it might be a good idea to have a heart-to-heart talk with her and let her know about your predicament. Give her a time-frame (1 year, 2 years, whatever time you think is best) and let her know that X date is THE date and after that, you will be gone. That will give her time to start getting things together so she can take care of herself.

    Like Lauren said, it's not our job to take care of our parents. But I do think it's our job to help in time of need when we're called upon and there is a real need. If there's a real need, help. But make sure it doesn't turn into a dependence on you to pay bills and live at home. You just need to be firm about what you will and won't do and stick with it.

  • Ummmm that is a tough one.....but like Lauren said,....you have to make this decision yet. I'd wait til you hear back from the guy before you stress over anything.

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