The radio station where I work has an all request hour, and we mostly get request from people living in GA, TN & AL, and randomly from other people listening on-line somewhere else in the USA like Florida or New York or somewhere... but yesterday, I answered the phone and a woman from Paris, France was requesting a song. How cool is that?! People in Paris are listening to us on the web...yay! I just thought that was cool.

Also, a guy called today and said he used to only listen to southern gospel music but that he stumbled across our radio station the other night and liked the sound of my voice so much he's switching to contemporary christian. haha, that totally made my day!

(by the way, if you want to listen on-line you can... I'm on from 5:30pm-midnight monday through friday @ www.ibn.org ) leave me a comment and let me know if/when you listen!! (PS. Just so you know, I don't get to pick out the music we play..so I don't always like all of it..but I do like some..we do have some really good songs as well as some really cheesy ones)

I'm feeling MUCH better now, thanks for all your encouragement!! Y'all are the best, for real.

I had a great weekend...Saturday I slept in then dyed my hair (in the words of anne shirley.. "a beautiful raven black." thankfully mine really did turn out black and not green like Anne's did, lol)

Then later that afternoon I went to small group at Mel&Shaun's where I lead worship which I really enjoyed, then we studied the "DISC" test which was fun...it's so interesting learning about all the different personalities people have and how we can use our gifts/personality to glorify God and understand other people better.

After that was church which was really great, then we headed into the ATL where we had dinner at this yummy italian place called little azilos, it was really good!

On sunday I met my mom and sister Meghan for brunch at IHOP(I had yummy strawberry french toast, mhmmm!!)and it was nice to see them.

After that I did some shopping, laundry, then met the girl's at the theater and saw "becoming jane", about author Jane Austin, which was really good..sad..but good.

After that Jennifer and I ate at chili's which was good, then I headed home,did more laundry, and went to bed!

I've had a good monday so far..it's the first monday I've got to sleep in a looong time!!

I slept in, then went to the gym(yesss!)It felt so good to work out again...it'd been way too long, I never had time when I worked 65 hours a week but now that I'm back down to working 40 hours a week I should be able to head to the gym more often, which I'm excited about, because I actually love working out..I love the good feeling I get afterwords and it really gives me more energy too! Normally by Monday night at work I'm like totally dragging and ready to go to sleep by 10pm and I'm still wide awake and going like the energizer bunny tonight! Yay!

After i went to the gym I cleaned out my car(haha, Jennifer, Malcolm and Daniel H will be very happy to hear that since all 3 of them have had to experience riding in my totally embarassingly messy car in the past few weeks)

After that I took a shower then headed to publix to buy some groceries, then headed to work at the radio station at 4pm where I've been ever since.

I love my job so much, it's so much fun looking up 7 bible verses a day to read on the air and praying for people and encouraging them and I even have fun doing the weather reports, haha, I'm such a dork! I love it though. I'm so blessed to have a job I love so much! Thank you, Jesus!

 

I'm feeling sad.

I feel like I just need a real good cry.

Bummed, depressed and just downright down and BLAH!!!

I just need to vent and get all my thoughts out so I'm going to warn you this post isn't going to be fun to read..but on the brighter note after I write down all my negative thoughts I'm going to force myself to write some posative ones so that we can end on a posative note at least.

Today was my last day as Brendan's nanny. I'm going to miss that sweet baby boy...I've been his nanny 5 days a week for almost 2 years. I cried twice today. I'm going to miss daily hugs and story time and playing and being silly. He makes me laugh so much! I'm going to miss that kid.

Also, the realizaton that my life is about to majorly change has just hit me. Fear of change and the unknown sucks.

My nanny job has ended, and I'll be moving back in with my mom in just a few weeks. The dread of moving back home has hit me. I love my mom and sister, but living with them just won't be the same as living on my own. I'll miss it.

I've also kinda been feeling really lonely lately. Sometimes I just hate being single, I want to fall in love and have someone love me back..someone just to hold my hand and tell me I'm beautiful. Sometimes I don't feel very beautiful at all. Sometimes I feel like a reject when it comes to guys..I feel like i get to hyper and stupid acting around guys and that i annoy them or something. I know everyone always tells me I just haven't met the right guy yet and that I will oneday, but sometimes I wonder..what if I'm single forever? That would totally suck.

And before you give me the whole "put God first and you won't want a boyfriend" lecture let me tell you that I AM satisfied with God and do put Him first, He's my best friend and I talk to Him all through out the day and spend so much time reading God's word and in prayer and worship...sometimes I feel so homesick for Him, because I want to be with God in heaven right now and can't. It's like the CS.Lewis quote at the top of my xanga says, if nothing in this world satifies me then maybe I was made for a different world. I believe that's my case...my heart longs for heaven and for God, and isn't satisfied here on earth.

So yeah that being said..sometimes, when I'm here on earth and alone, I just wish I had someone to hug and talk to till the wee small hours of the morning. Sometimes being single just sucks, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Wow okay I'm going to stop the pity party, I do know that I have sOOOo much to be thankful for...

I have a job that I LOVE, working at the radio station...some people dread going to their jobs every day and I actually LIKE mine and feel like I'm doing what God has called me too and that's a major blessing which I'm VERY thankful for.

I also have been blessed with good health and with sooo many friends and family who all love me and love God has well. That is such a great blessing.

I really am satisfied for the most part. Life just has it's ups and downs, is all.

*edit* had that good cry..and prayed. Feel much better now. I also noticed my eyes turn a glowing shade of green after I cry. Interesting!!

Three days and no comments?! Come on y'all, where is the love?(*singing* where is the looove, the looove, the loooove?!)

I had a good weekend housesitting at Dan and Nancy's! Their chinchilla's are soooo cute, and hyper! lol Very funny to watch. I enjoyed taking care of them.

I also enjoyed having their house alone to myself. I'm a people person, but I also love my alone time too, so that was realllly nice. I'll admit I slept ALOT, probs too much...but I needed it. I don't get enough sleep during the week.

This is my last week nannying, though.

I'm looking forward to having more free time during the day. I can't wait to start going to the gym and working out again! Plus I'll be able to get more packing done/getting ready to move on September 8th.

I've decided to move in with my mom. I prayed about it alot, and this just seems to be the wisest decision. I'll be able to save more money/tithe, and get out of debt while helping my mom out as well...plus my mom's house is on the river which is gorgeous and it's only 5 miles away from the radio station where I work 40 hours a week in Cartersville, so that's nice.

So yeah my plan is to move in with my mom just for a little while till I get out of debt, and then I want to rent a house out in the country(in Cartersville, you can rent a 2 bedroom house for like $500.00 a month, which is cheaper than a one bedroom apartment in kennesaw)

But don't you worry all my Kennesaw/Marietta friends, I'll be driving down to visit you guys every weekend! (I have church in k'saw so you can count on me being there at least every saturday night)

TGIF!!! Thank GOD for weekends and that I have most weekends off from work. I feel so badly for people that have to work like every weekend(been there - done that = NOT fun)I'm so blessed to have almost every weekend off from work(except for the occausional babysitting or a couple of saturdays at the radio station during fund raising in the spring and fall..not bad)

I am SO tired tonight I can't wait to go home and sleeeeep good and sleep in tomorrow. This working 65 hours a week has really taken it's toll on me, I'm totally zonked! Thankfully next week is my last week nannying and then I'll only work 40 hours a week at the radio station with the occasional massage or babysitting every once in a while. I'll miss nannying for Brendan, but I won't miss the schedule/65 hours a week, it really is tiring.

I'm house sitting for Dan & Nancy this weekend while they're out of state which works out swell cuz the hot water is still out at my apartment which means no hot showers which means I won't shower at my apartment because icy cold showers are NOT pleasant(believe me, I tried)so yeah, I'm feeding their chinchilla's and they're letting me stay there and take advantage of hot showers so it's a nice exchange.

I have exactly 5 chapters left to read in the final harry potter book. I could've read it all in one day but I'm making myself read at a slower pace so that I have something to look forward to reading every night at work. Tonight will prob be the last though and then I'll be finished. I  think I'll re-read the Narnia series, next.

 

 Is it just me or do Mondays always seem to come so quickly each week, and fridays come so slowly?!

I had a great weekend, and hope you all did as well.

We had a missionary guest speaker at church on saturday night which was cool and I watched an old John Cusack movie after church with Dan and Nancy (Better off dead...funny movie..TENTACLES?! Haha)

Sunday I went to see one of my fave british bands, Travis, with Amanda, my roomie. Travis was amazing live, just as I knew they'd be. I've listened to them for 9 years and this is the first I'd seen them live! Their music is lovely, absolutely beautiful. Love em!! Funny note, this REALLLLY crazy guy standing next to me at the concert spoke with a british accent and told me he was the bass players brother and his brother told him to get the crowd going and then he intended to act insanely hyper through out the whole show, but he was also drinking ALOT of alcohol so I suspected that he was in reality just really drunk and not actually the bass players brother, although that would've been really funny, if he really were. I should've asked him to introduce me to his brother and seen what his reaction was! haha!

Also the lead singer of the band cool hand luke was standing next to Amanda during the concert and started talking to us cuz he remembered Amanda because he's friends with a friend of her's or something, so yeah, that was neat!

I'm still not sure where I'm moving..haven't heard back from the guy about the basement apartment/nanny swap and I'm starting to have 2nd thoughts about that anyways cuz it'd kinda be like "living at work" 24/7, even though I wouldn't actually be working 24/7, I dunno, something about it just doesn't feel right. But then again I haven't even heard back from him so it might not even been an option, I'm just going ahead and thinking about it so I can have an answer prepared when I do hear back from him.

Thanks to all of you that have given me advice and prayed for me too, you're the best!!!

 A new twist on things...

So I'd pretty much decided on moving in with my mom so that I could get out of debt and still tithe as well as help out my mom financially, and I called the man that owns the basement apartment to tell him that I couldn't afford it.

 well, when he found out I'd lost my nanny job he asked how I'd feel about babysitting for his kids a couple of days a week in exhange for rent. Now if it was full time baby sitting or even part time every day I'd say no because it'd be too much with my radio station job, but since it'd only be for 5 hours 2 or 3 days a week, I'm considering it. That being said, he still has to talk things over with his wife because he hadn't even run the idea by her yet, so who knows, she might say no..but if she says yes, basically I have to decide to tell them yes or no.

In the end I'd actually be saving $200.00 more a month then I'd save even living with my mom, so I'd save more money if I lived in the basement apartment/did the nanny thing, but I'd also have less free time and plus part of me still really wants to help my mom out because she's having a really hard time financially right now since she and my dad got divorced.

She doesn't have enough money to get health insurance and she has several health problems she has to take medication reguarally for...and basically if I moved in with her the $200 she would charge me each month would go to her health insurance. That being said, I DO NOT want to live with my mom forever, it'd be two years at the longest..so I don't want her to rely on my rent for health insurance and then be stuck when I move out in a couple of years...and yet I know right now she could really use my help. It's a tough decision...

Any advice?

Decisions, decisions....life changing decisions. I'll admit it, I'm the type of person that really has a hard time making decisions. Even easy decisions, like, what to order at starbucks or what movie to rent at blockbuster or where to eat dinner, those are hard decisions for me. So LIFE CHANGING decisions, like, where to move...are very VERY hard for me.

I'm really struggling with making the right decision about where to move in September. Since my nanny job is ending in a few weeks I'll have to get used to just getting ONE pay check again instead of two, and I've been trying to put together and figure out what my new budget will be with just my one job.

I've always had multiple jobs so I've never really had to even make a budget before, but now I'm just tired of working so much and really just want to work my one job at the radio station, so it's time to sit down and create and actually stick to a budget.

That being said...living alone will basically take ALL of my paycheck every week, (I don't know anyone to be roommates with)I'll have nothing left over to save or even tithe which bothers me...so basically, I've been debating about whether I should take my mom up on her offer to move in with her for a little while till my car/school loans are paid of(which should take exactly 2 years)after my loans are paid off I'll have an extra $400 a month to put towards rent and could actually even rent or buy a nice house, then.

My mom would only charnge me $200 a month for rent. Right now I'm paying around $450ish for rent and utilities, but that's splitting with a roommate, so if I moved out on my own i'd be paying around $600 a month.

So I'd save alot living with my mom, where as if I moved into an apartment by myself I'd literally be spending every cent on bills and only have one dollar to put towards each meal I eat, too. lol.

I don't really like the idea of moving back home, but since I DO work the afternoon/evening shift at work it's not like I'd be around my mom 24/7. Aaaah, i just don't know what to do, i hate decisions.

I found a basement apartment in Acworth that ironically enough is in the house my parents rented when I was 17! But with what I'd be paying in rent/utils there I'd really be struggling financially...

So yeah....i have to let the people in acworth know THIS WEEK if I want to rent their basement apartment or not, and I honestly can't make up my mind.

Do i want to move in with my mom and save money/get out of debt, or do I want to live in the basement apartment and have more privacy but have NO extra money.

Also my mom's really struggling right now financially so I know she could use the extra 200 bucks a month...should I move back in with her and help her out as well as helping out myself, or should I stay out? My parents got divorced last year so it's not like I'd be moving back in with my parents as a teenager again or something, my mom's very laid back (she's actually alot like me, personality wise..we get along great)and would pretty much let me come and go as I please and treat me as a renter and not like she's my boss or something, I mean I know she'd be easy to live with...also she lives close to my job while acworth would be farther.

Acworth is closer to all my friends, though. But that being said, I work monday through friday night so I can't really hang out with friends during the week anyway, so money wise it seems wiser to live closer to work and just drive to visit friends on the weekends since that's when I'm off work anyway.

I need advice, though. What would you do if you were me?

50 questions

Body:

1. Where is your brother right now? I don't have any brothers 2. Last time you went swimming? last year 3. Name five things you did yesterday? Babysit, worked at the radio station, text messaged, got on facebook way too much, pensively pondered my life and where i should move to in september. 4. Last person you text messaged? Nancy 5. What kind of phone do you have? Verizon treo(I love it!) 8. What are you listening to? Charles Stanley 9. What do you smell like? honeysuckle(bath&bodyworks) 10. What color are your eyes? bluish green. 11. Have you ever done a chinese fire drill? I don't know what that is... 12. What color is your bedroom floor? you know, I'm not sure. 13. Do you have a chair in your room? bedroom? no. room I'm in now? yes. 14. What are you doing tomorrow? working 10am-midnight 15. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no. 16. Does your boyfriend/girlfriends parents like you? ... 17. Do you know someone named Betsy? no 18. What color is your mom's hair? blonde 19. Do you have a dog? Breed? Name? nope 20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? all the time 21. Are you married? no 22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? Samantha called me earlier tonight 24. Do you play an instrument? guitar, bass, piano, irish penny whistle, bongos, congas, djembe 25. Do you like fire? a little too much!! 26. Are you allergic to anything? pollen is evvvvillll!!!! 27. Do you have a crush on anyone? maybe... 28. Best friend? your mom 29. Have you ever been to a spa? I used to work at one 30 and 31 dont exist.weird. 32. Do you miss someone? yes 33. Do you think they miss you too? only God knows 34. Have you ever seen your school counselor? I was homeschooled. 35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? no. 37. What's your favorite color? blue 38. Is anyone jealous of you? not that I know of 39. Ever been stuck in an elevator? no 40. What does your mom call you? Amy 42. What does you hair look like right now? dark red/auburn, down and messy 43. Has a friend ever used you? yes, sadly. it was a long time ago though 44. Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend? once... no, twice 45. What have you eaten today? breakfast: slim fast lunch: slim fast dinner; mom brought me chicken marsella at work, and salad with ranch dressing. yummmmmmmmmmmy!!!! 46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight? straight as a stick 48. Who was the last person you drove with? Melanie, Shawn and Lauren 49. What are you looking forward to? sleeping 50. How are you today? grouchy

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Nancy informed me that it was time to update my blog, so Nancy, this updates for you!(Like the Pete Yorn song.. "For Nancy"..LOL)

What to write, what to write? Uhm...I had a good weekend...got to see my friend Lauren Roper who was visiting from TN, it was really good to see her, it had been waaaay too long!!!

Also enjoyed church and hanging with friends afterwords, which was awesome, as always...

On sunday I slept in then my dad treated me to the new Harry Potter movie(I got dad hooked on all the books and now the movies)I actually really liked the movie alot, I'd heard alot of people DIDN'T like it, but I did. That could be because I'm not really good with remembering every fact of each book so i don't really notice when they leave stuff out, but that being said, the books are like 600-800 pages long so it's impossible to fit in EVERYTHING from the book, so I understand why some things were cut out. ***spoiler*** don't read any farther if you don't want the movie/book spoiled for you.

I loved it when the weasley twins left hogwarts and I loved ron's little comments that gave away the fact he likes hermione, i loved tonks changing hair colors but thought they could've shown more of her personality though(I really liked her alot in the books and didn't think they showed enough of her in the movie) I loved it when umbridge got what was coming to her!! lol

All in all I really liked the movie.

After that I went shopping with Nancy and Dan at Goody's big sale and got a couple of cute shirts I can wear to work, then we went back to my apartment and watched one of my favorite old black and white movies that Dan&Nancy hadn't seen, "You can't take it with you". If you haven't seen it you should, it's REALLY good..and funny. It stars Jimmy Stuwart. He's one of my favorite actors...I love old movies..they were so pure.